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SMM: Let It Be

Photo by Tom Leu

The single most important breakthrough that recovery has provided me is one of self-awareness. To deliberately raise my awareness and honestly look at 1) myself, 2) my behaviors, and 3) my resulting consequences coming from each, is a gift I never knew I needed, nor or wanted.

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In the AA Big Book, Step 9 reads: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Essentially, this is about taking responsibility for our actions that have intentionally or unintentionally hurt others… whether in recovery or not…

It hurts to face our shortcomings, but it’s the only way through them. You can’t go around them if you really want to get better. But that’s what most do; that’s what I did. Honestly facing and owning your own shortcomings produces a humility, which produces growth.

Avoidance is a death-dance. It’s another slow form of inner suicide.

Anything anyone habitually avoids is THE most important thing they need to face. Right here, right NOW!

HOWEVER… sometimes it IS best to just let things be. Especially with certain others in our lives. Revisiting some things, with some people, can be more harmful than helpful. 

You know, the old, if it ‘ain’t broke… saying…

So, there’s no easy answer, and it’s definitely not an exact science…. it’s highly dependent upon the people, places, situations, and circumstances involved. Pay attention and critically think about all factors before making any moves (this clarity is perhaps the greatest gift of sobriety). The hard part is recognizing when to go in, and when to stay away. What to leave in; what to leave out. It’s personal and it’s subjective, but if your motives are positive, I believe deep down, the right thing to do will eventually reveal itself.

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

The real purpose of owning our own stuff is for healing to happen. It’s not to re-open wounds that are better left scarred-over.

“Speaking words of wisdom…” sometimes it’s best to just, let it be…

Stay tuned-in…

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